Episode II: Comfort
by JayLaw
Summary: Episode II in the Comfort Trilogy: Jimmy, Lou and Kid deal with the aftermath of the hanging of Elias Mills. Follows Episode I: Firelight & Moonlight.
1. Chapter 1

**COMFORT**

By Jay Law

Set directly after the hanging of Elias Mills in "Blood of Others."

They walked away with the crowd. She had seen him try to look at her, but he fought the urge to look to another human being for support. Her heart sank and she had turned to Kid.

As they turned away from the gruesome scene, she couldn't help herself, and touched Jimmy's arm. He glanced at her, from under his hat, and in his eyes, she saw a steely emptiness that she wanted to chase away. A brief flash of wanting coursed through his veins that she saw in his eyes, and her heart responded.

"Kid," he called out. Kid turned and saw Lou's hand on Jimmy's arm and her furrowed brow.

"What's wrong?" Kid came over to them.

"I need some time alone," Jimmy inclined his head towards the saloon. Lou nodded, but Kid cautioned, "Don't get carried away, Jimmy."

Jimmy smirked, "'Cause we all know how often that happens," then he looked at Lou's raised eyebrow and tiny smile, secretly challenging the statement. His smirk disappeared. His body responded by tightening in remembrance.

He cleared his throat.

"Anyway," he trailed off, heading to the saloon.

As he walked away, he heard Lou say, "I'm pretty tired. I'm going to rest for a few hours."

"Do you want some company," Kid asked, hopefully.

She glanced over Kid's shoulder and saw Jimmy pause and tilt his head as if he were thinking. Or listening.

"No, Kid. I need to be," she paused, "alone."

Jimmy continued on to the saloon, hearing the disappointment in Kid's,

"Oh, all right. I wanted to get supplies anyway, for the trip home."

Kid turned and walked away. Lou nodded with a secret smile playing on her lips.

* * *

There was a light knock at her hotel room door.

She muffled, "Go away."

"It's me, Jimmy," he whispered loudly.

The butterflies in her stomach did a welcoming dance, which she tried to push away with her hands. She opened her door and saw Jimmy leaning on the door jam.

"You've been drinking," she said disapprovingly.

She was a vision in her pale peach night dress, tousled hair and pillow creases on her face. With his thumb, he wiped some drool from the side of her mouth. He looked both ways down the hall, then pushed himself into her room, closed and locked the door behind him, leaving the key in the door.

She stepped back several paces into her room, bumping the back of her legs against the bed. Jimmy looked at her, at the bed, then into her eyes. She saw his need, loneliness and desire mixed with something that seemed to be holding him back. He leaned against the closed door.

In a low, gravelly voice, he said sullenly, "I just had one."

He seemed to be wrestling with himself in his head. She stood, watching him.

"I wanted you more." The pain and fear that she had suspected he was hiding were suddenly in his eyes and his harsh whisper. He hadn't wanted to say that, she was sure. Jimmy didn't want to be vulnerable. To anyone. She moved to come to him, but he held up his hand, stopping her.

"I shouldn't want you like this. This much," he looked at the floor. "I don't want you getting hurt on account of me, but I don't know how to let you go."

"Elias said I'd be woman enough to match you," she said with hopeful eyes and a wrinkled brow.

He raised an eyebrow, "He did?"

She nodded. "But the question is, would you be man enough to match me?" she smirked with a teasing smile, and started towards him.

He shook his head, trying to keep himself focused. He held up his hand to stay her movement again.

He looked into her eyes in desperation, "That could be me swinging out there in a few years! What would that bring you?" The hurt in his eyes shot straight to her heart, as he pleaded for her to understand.

She quietly came towards him, focused and determined, speaking softly so he would be forced to hear her.

"The knowledge that you did the right thing, because you are a good man, James Butler Hickok."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled his head down to hers, brushing a light kiss on his lips. His breath jerked from his body as he grabbed her in desperation and pressed her closer to his body, hungrily devouring her mouth.

She didn't bother with his many belts. She unfastened his pants and pulled out his steely hardness, stroking him gently yet aggressively. She stepped back towards the bed, pulling him, never breaking the kiss. He held her face in his hands as he backed her into the bed.

Her legs bumped the side of the bed, and Jimmy followed her down onto the mattress. He pulled her nightgown over her hips and consumed her mouth with his own again. She pulled his hips towards her own, wanting to be one with him, filled with him, immediately.

He needed her warmth to surround him, to dive into oblivion with her. There were no comforting words or terms of endearments. He thrust himself into her tight sheath, growling in satisfaction at her gasp followed by her moan of, "Yes..."

She wrapped her legs around his waist, the hilts of his guns nudging the backs of her thighs as he thrust into her. His face was buried in the crook of her neck; his hands were under her shoulders, curling over them, holding on to her, pulling her towards him with every thrust. He inhaled her scent with every heavy breath he took, driving himself mad with his insatiable need for more.

He thrust harder, deeper, her groans and moans only intensifying his need to become one with her. Her groans deepened with each thrust of his hips. Her breathing became shallow and she grabbed his neck.

With a faint, high pitched, "Ohhh, Jimmy!" and her nails in his back, she shuddered inside and out.

Her heat tightened around him and he ground out, "Oh, god, Lou!" as he felt his own release into her warmth, collapsing over her, on his arms.

* * *

Lou came to awareness slowly, not sure what woke her up. Her eyes refused to open. Her arms wouldn't move. Her legs were stuck in an awkward position, and something was holding them down. She moaned a tiny bit, trying to pull herself out of her stupor. The heavy blanket on top of her moved, then rolled off her. Her eyes shot open in shock, only to see Jimmy settling next to her on the bed. Her arms and legs regained their mobility, and she realized she and Jimmy had fallen asleep together in the bed in that awkward position.

Lying on his side with his head propped up on his hand, he watched her, his sleepy eyes perusing her form up and down, making her blush. He stroked a finger lightly down the bridge of her nose, then across her cheek.

"I love it when you do that," he whispered.

She rolled onto her side to face him. His finger continued along her nightgown clad shoulder, down her bare arm, then over her exposed hip and thigh. He spread his hand wide and palmed her hip in his hand, pulling her closer to him.

A faint tapping at the door froze them both in their actions.

"Lou?"

She looked at Jimmy in shock. "Kid," she whispered.

Jimmy seemed less impressed. "Tell him to go away," he mumbled under his breath, his hand continuing its trek along Lou's curves. He removed his hand to unbuckle his belts that he had neglected to remove when he first came into her room.

Lou widened her eyes in protest and her lips formed an angry moue at his nonchalance. He shrugged, placing his hand back at her shoulder, and started a trail to her breast. She shrugged his hand off, but he replaced it, caressing her softness through her nightgown. His finger teased circles around her nipple, through her gown, causing her to gasp quietly and swallow hard.

"Jimmy," she mouthed around her clenched teeth, "quit it."

His lopsided grin and single minded focus communicated loud and clear how useless the command was to the gunfighter.

He leaned over and licked her nipple through her nightgown, then latched on to it, soaking her sleeping dress and nipple. She grabbed on to his head, fighting to keep hers, while the soft material rubbed against her nipple under the ministrations of his wet and hot tongue.

"Jimmy!" she breathed, trying to catch her breath silently.

His fingers wandered back down to her hip, then to the junction at the apex of her thighs. Running his fingers lightly over her soft curls, he stroked through them, pushing deeper and deeper towards her moist heat.

She moaned softly, stiffening at his touch. She wrapped her hands around his muscular forearm, bulging with veins and tendons, trying to get him to stop.

With a smirk, he whispered, "I'll stop... if you try your best to make me stop. If you actually try to make me stop."

She clutched at his arm, feeling his fingers push through her folds. Her breath caught when his middle finger found a bundle of nerves she had never really explored before. She knew it was there, but, not really knowing what to do with it, she hadn't really found the time to do anything with it.

Jimmy stroked it, causing her to cry out in surprise. He bit his lip, and admonished her with a look, fighting a grin and shaking his head at her.

"Lou? Are you alright?" Kid's voice called out from the other side of the door.

She moaned, "Kid? What? What are you doing?" She thought she sounded sufficiently sleepy. At least enough to convince him.

"Uh… I… uh…I heard you yell."

Jimmy pushed his finger deeper inside her, delving into her tight, moist tunnel. She gasped quietly, holding tight onto Jimmy's arm.

"Kid, I was sleepin',"

Jimmy raised an eyebrow, sardonically.

She whispered, "Well, I _was_."

He smirked and stroked inside her, while he watched her face contort in pleasure. He pulled his moistened finger out of her, and caressed her nub again, making her bite her lip in pleasure to try and stifle her cry. He covered her mouth with his, and started rubbing her in earnest, swallowing her outbursts with his kisses.

Her breathing became jerky gasps in and out as he circled her pleasure center with his wet finger, her legs wrapped around one of his, grinding against him. He stroked, and rubbed, caressed and petted, until she could take no more and her head flung back in blind bliss, her body stiffening in a silent scream of rapture.

He stroked her a few more times, just to make sure she got to the highest peak she could reach, then slowed down, and gently pushed his finger inside her, feeling her tightness and convulsions from the inside. She was going to get everything out of this experience he wanted to give her.

"Lou? Are you going to come down for dinner?"

"Later," she squeaked out, trying to catch her breath.

One of Jimmy's guns in the belt fell off the bed and thudded onto the floor.

"Lou? Are you alright?"

She grabbed Jimmy by the lapels and snarled silently. He fought a grin at her.

"Kid," she sighed loudly, "can't a girl accidently drop a gun without you calling in the army to check on her?"

"Oh... sorry, Lou," he sounded sheepish.

Jimmy's other gun belt fell off the bed, thudding loudly on the floor.

"Really, Jimmy? Really?" She whispered in frustration.

"Lou? Are you sure you are alright?"

"Kid, I just woke up!" She glared at her bed companion. "I'm not all there yet. I'll meet you downstairs for dinner."

Jimmy pushed her onto her back, and rolled over on top of her.

"Jimmy, stop, I need to get dressed," she whispered in exasperation.

He pushed himself against her wet heat, lodging his thick head at her opening.

Kissing her deeply, he mumbled, "Are you sure? Not even a little bit?" He thrust his head inside her soft lips.

She moaned, "Jimmy, Mmmmm, damnit," wrapping her legs around his waist, pulling him closer with her legs.

He pushed his whole length deep inside her tightness. She gasped, closed her eyes, and raked her nails over the back of his shirt that he had not removed.

"Alright. I'm gonna head out and try to find Jimmy so we can all eat together."

Her eyes shot open, staring at the door, then flew to Jimmy's smirking visage.

"Damnit, Jimmy," she whispered.

"Don't worry," he whispered into her neck as he nuzzled her, "he won't find me out there."

She smacked the back of his head, "Jimmy!"

He pulled his head up, eyes twinkling with mirth, "What? You think he will?"

He thrust into her again, taking away her retort, replacing it with a moan.

"God, Jimmy, what are we doin'?"

He looked at her in mock outrage, "If you have to ask that, then I need to get better at it!"

He ducked his head and latched on to her other nipple through her nightgown. Lou arched her back in ecstasy, overwhelmed with the sensations he was causing to course through her body. Between his thickness pushing in and out of her and his lips tugging, sucking and licking her sensitive buds, she couldn't find a moment to breathe, let alone think.

She pushed her fingers through his hair, she grabbed his shoulders, raked his back, nibbled his earlobe, dug her nails into his buttocks. Her hands were everywhere. She was lost in sensation, and Jimmy was the center of the maelstrom.

She needed to keep quiet, but couldn't concentrate enough to pay attention. His hands were everywhere. His mouth was sucking all the places that made her breath catch. He finally got her nightgown up and licked and sucked her bare breasts with abandon while she held on for dear life.

"Jimmy," she whispered, "Jimmy, oh god, Jimmy, no, wait, Jimmy, oh, god, yes, please, Jimmy, uh, Jimmy wait, oh! Jimmy! Yes!"

He pushed his hand between them and rubbed her sensitive nub as he pushed and thrust and bit and sucked. Lou's eyes rolled back in her head under her fluttering lids, her breath caught in her throat several times, she grabbed for his thrusting undulating buttocks one more time and ground herself into him as she exploded in liquid pleasure, her cries of fulfillment swallowed by Jimmy's mouth upon hers as he pistoned into her core, releasing his essence into her convulsing tunnel with a powerful groan of completion and satisfaction.

Lou's head fell back onto the pillow, with Jimmy's face tucked into the crook of her neck. Breathing heavily and deeply, she struggled not to fall asleep again. She needed to get Jimmy out of her room before Kid found him here. She needed to tell him in her own time and in her own way. It would be a hell of a trip home if Kid found out before they left.

It was going to be a hell of a trip home anyway. Two whole nights and days without Jimmy inside her. It was torture to simply think about. She tightened her legs around him at the thought. There was no way around it, but, she would have to work really hard to not stare at him like the boys said she used to stare at Kid. The way Jimmy said she stared at Kid. And if Kid was staring at her that way, he was bound to notice her discomfort. Her lack of focus on him. The way she looked at Jimmy now.

How in the world was she ever going to be able to tell Kid about this? Huh. Probably as quickly and as well as he told her about that teacher. She did not seriously owe him any explanation at all, did she? Though, it would be good for her heart to come clean, and she would be the better person for it. He could live his life his way, she would live her life hers.

She ran her fingers through Jimmy's hair, scratching his scalp lightly. He raised his head, looking her in the eyes.

"Two whole nights without you, huh?" His eyes looked pained and sad.

She shrugged half-heartedly.

"And who knows when we'll be able to be together after that," she frowned.

"We'll make it happen. We can make this work," he reassured her with a smirk and a kiss. "Anything is worth it for you, Lou," he said seriously, looking into her eyes.

She gazed at him in wonder. "You really think that, Jimmy?" Trepidation, doubt, hope and adoration all took up residence in her eyes.

He looked at her in surprise, "Darlin', do you even know how long I've loved you?"

"Love?" She whispered on a breath caught in her throat.

He nodded, brushing her lips with his, whispering, "You knew that, didn't you?"

She shook her head, eyes wide in shock and relief.

"I thought it was just me," she whispered back.

He dropped his head back into the cradle between her neck and shoulder and shook it in decent.

His lips against her skin, he murmured, "Lou, sweetheart, you've always had my heart."

She closed her eyes and sighed deeply, hugging him closer.

Her eyes flew open, "Kid!"

She struggled underneath Jimmy until he lifted his head lazily and looked at her.

"No, Jimmy. No more. We all need to make it home in one piece. Then we can tell him."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Fine, I can tell him. That's the least I can do. And will do. I don't owe him nothin' but, at least I can know I have the decency to tell him when …"

Jimmy smirked, "When he's being replaced?"

Lou looked up at the gunfighter with hurt eyes.

She whispered, "That's not what I meant." She looked down at his chest, "That's not what this is." Her worried eyes shot back to his, "Is it?"

Jimmy pushed up off her, "No, Lou, that's not what this is." She sighed in relief, nodding and sitting up.

"If that was the case," he continued, tucking himself in and buckling himself up, "we woulda gotten together weeks ago, dontcha think?"

She shrugged, sitting up and wrapping the sheet around her.

He continued, "As long as you're not yellin' out 'Next' every time we finish what we did, I think we'll be just fine, darlin."

He bent over and kissed her on the nose.

Lou pulled herself out of the bed, the sheet wrapped around her, and retrieved her clothes on the chair by the curtained window to dress.

Facing the chair, her back to Jimmy, she pulled the shirt on over the sheet, then let the sheet drape, droop and succumb to gravity as she slowly buttoned her shirt down. The hem of the shirt just barely covered her backside, and Jimmy's jaw slackened.

Lou bent over slightly to get her pants on, the bottom of her shirt pulling over the swell of her rear, tightening over her bottom and just barely showing a hint of the juncture at the apex of her thighs. Jimmy let out a shaky breath and swallowed hard. He couldn't take her again. Not when Kid and dinner were so near.

"I was hoping-" he said hoarsely, then cleared his throat, "-I kept wonderin' when you would get it through your thick skull that you an' me were meant to be together... but I didn't want ta push ya..."

She turned slowly to face him, fastening her pants and belt, "'Thick skull'? That's what you think of me?"

His eyes shot up to hers. He didn't realize he had even said anything. He started shaking his head, eyes wide, jaw working, mouth trying to form words he couldn't even think.

"No, wait! Lou, I jus' meant that-"

"Meant what?" she glowered at him, fists firmly planted on her hips.

He shrugged, helplessly, "That we're a good fit... and I thought that for a long while now, but, you didn't never see..." he trailed off, at a loss for words.

"Oh, so I'm blind now, too?"

"No, I didn't mean-"

"So I'm stupid and blind, but you can see your way past that to 'fit' with me these last few nights? Is that what you think?" she approached him menacingly. He backed up against the door fearfully.

"You think I'm easy, too?" She was almost yelling at him. She turned to the bed, grabbed his gun belts off the floor and thrust them into his chest.

"You take your crap and get the hell outta my room!"

He didn't hesitate to take her advice and do just that.

She seethed, pacing the room in her anger. How _dare_ he suggest she was an idiot, just because she had been holding onto something that didn't even exist anymore. Who did he think he was, calling her out like that?

She had been faithful to Kid, and cared so much for him. Just because she wasn't ready to delve deeper into things with him, just because she wasn't ready to go further, didn't mean she didn't love him. Did it? She just wasn't ready for what Kid was ready for, or at least seemed to be ready for.

But Jimmy listened to her all the time. He respected her choices and treated her like she wanted to be treated. Her heart was full to bursting when he came around, looking at her with those near-golden eyes. And now, having shared what they shared, her body was in his corner, just like her head and heart were.

But, he could say the stupidest things! Though, just because he didn't always think things through didn't mean he actually thought that way about her. Kid had said some god-awful things to her, and he actually meant them. 'Thick skull'... she'd show him a thick skull.

* * *

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	2. Chapter 2

_When last we met, Lou was seething with anger due to Jimmy's absent-minded slip of the tongue, which set her off. Poor Jimmy could do nothing but clasp his gun belts in his arms and hie away out of her room, as per Lou's "request."_

Jimmy stepped out into the hall, quickly closing the door behind him. His gun belts in his hands, he stepped around the corner, just in case Kid was near, and started buckling them on. Head down, focused on his belts, he stepped around the corner as he was adjusting them and ran head first into Kid.

"Jimmy, I been looking all over for you. Started getting worried that you might have run into some trouble."

Jimmy nodded absently.

"Well, you're here now, let's get Lou for dinner," he turned towards Lou's door, not seeing Jimmy close his eyes, but he heard his sigh. "It's alright, Jimmy, we'll be out of here in the morning. The trip home is always faster," Kid pat him on the back, paying more attention to knocking on Lou's door than his friend.

Jimmy nodded and decided to say nothing, since his opening his mouth had garnered him less than stellar results the last time he talked.

Lou opened the door and looked blankly at Kid. Then she saw Jimmy over his shoulder, standing against the opposite wall of the hallway, looking sheepishly down at the floor. Let him suffer, she thought vindictively. She pasted on a bright smile for Kid.

"Kid, hey! Thanks for waiting! I was _so_ tired, I thought I was likely to sleep clear through to Christmas!" She took his arm as he smiled and led her down to the dining room, Jimmy trailing behind, scowling mightily.

Dinner was a blur of petty jealousies and raging jealousies for Jimmy. Lou talked and laughed with Kid, barely throwing a glance at Jimmy's scowling face once in a while. Every time she touch Kid's arm, or looked at Kid from under her lashes, Jimmy was hard pressed not to rip her hand off those damned buckskins and hold it in his hand where it belonged, or turn her face to his and kiss the smile right off her. Those should be his touches, his glances, his smiles. Was this all he meant to her? A few nights of amazingness, and she's ready to go back to her old faithful? Was she just testing the waters to see how they'd 'fit'? Was he anything to her at all?

His jealousy started becoming hurt and his ever-present glower grew into a resigned melancholy, as he glanced up from his plate more often and looked between the two others at the table. Her life was her life. She had the freedom to live it as she liked. And if she liked it with Kid, he was not one to stand in her way. He tried to smile at something that was said, but it was fleeting. His heart was wailing too loudly for him to hear what was being said, and the smiles on their faces were too painful to be looked at. He looked back down to his plate, knowing that the love he had professed to her would always be hers, but he would have to move on, missing a piece of himself for eternity.

Jimmy finished his meal quickly, wanting to get out of there. He had lost his appetite, but forced himself to eat to not raise suspicions and to fuel himself for the ride home the next day. He excused himself from the table, not expecting either of them to notice.

Lou caught the look on Jimmy's face as he excused himself. She had gone too far. She knew it. She had glanced at Jimmy throughout the course of the evening and watched his face go from angrily frustrated to hopelessly despondent as the meal progressed.

She had only meant to make him jealous. She wasn't trying for hopeless. She didn't want to break his heart, just to hurt it a little. But, why would she need to hurt someone she claimed to love not two hours earlier? Was she really that heartless? Was she truly that cruel? All he had done was express himself, and she made him feel like he was worthless. If this was how she showed love, no wonder she'd had a hard time staying connected with Kid. Rather, no wonder Kid had a hard time feeling connected to her. What if she just made the biggest mistake of her life by making Jimmy feel lower than dirt for his typically artless words. He wasn't Shakespeare and she knew that.

What if love wasn't what she expected people to do for her, but actually her ability to overlook those things that others said or done in a fit of passion or love, or any other time for that matter? The hurtful things that, if she actually thought about it, weren't really on purpose, nor were they meant in any harmful way. How many times had she or Kid focused on the small things that didn't mean anything instead of their relationship or their love for each other? Her actions tonight ... her heart ached suddenly. Not only had she tromped all over Jimmy's own fragile organ, but she also sucked Kid back into thinking she actually gave a damn one way or the other about him. She probably even made him think she was forgiving him and maybe even was letting him back into her heart. She immediately felt miserable and sick to her stomach.

"Kid?" He looked at her with a smile of hopefulness and expectancy, until he saw her grimace of pain.

"Lou? What's wrong?"

"Kid, I'm not feelin' so good. I'm goin' back ta my room," Her country drawl became more pronounced with her increasing worry. Her eyebrows furrowed, as she left the dining room, leaving some money for Kid to pay the bill.

* * *

The knock on his door didn't surprise him, but the person on the other side of the door did. He opened the door wider and let Kid in.

His wrinkled forehead conveyed his confusion, "What can I do for ya, Kid?"

He sat down on his bed and waited for Kid to talk.

"Jimmy, it's about Lou."

Jimmy closed his eyes, rolled them long and hard, then opened them again, to look straight at Kid.

"What about her, Kid?" He kept his face neutral.

"Jimmy, I gotta know. Is there …" he hesitated, not sure how to ask this of his friend.

"Just spit it out, Kid," his nonchalance was measured and controlled.

"I-is - is there-" he took a deep breath and began again. "Is there any way you see me and Lou ever gettin' back together?" Jimmy blinked, blankly. "Is there anythigng I can do to make up for all my failures and stupidity?"

Jimmy blinked again, eyebrows raised high.

"You don't think there is, do you? Damnit, Jimmy, how could I have done this?"

Jimmy opened his mouth to answer.

"I mean, I shoulda known you were right, when you told me to give her space. I didn't listen. You even tried to beat it into me, and I just knew I was right, and it was what I needed to do. And now look." Kid sat on Jimmy's bed hunched over, elbows on his knees, face in his cupped hands.

"Jimmy," he muffled, "I would do anything to get her back."

Jimmy's heart beat proudly, knowing there was nothing Kid could do to make that happen. But he felt bad for his friend. The man many considered to be his brother. He had never really gotten to know his own brothers. These boys in the Express had given him more of a family of friends, a band of brothers than he had grown up with. He didn't want to be part of breaking Kid's heart. But he also had to follow his own heart. And his own heart told him to comfort the man, but never give up Lou. She was his heart.

They would work this out. It was a slip of the tongue. It wasn't like he was stuffing her in a dress and parading her around town like his chattel. She was his partner. His equal. His friend and lover. His whole life he had hoped for a woman like her to be by his side. He had never believed it would happen, but, what was the saying? 'Hope springs eternal'? He nodded to himself. Kid looked up at the nod and skewered him with a miserable gaze, shining with heartache and unshed tears.

"D'ya think there's any hope?"

Jimmy swallowed hard, "Uh..."

Kid's face crumbled and fell back into his hands, "Ah, God, Jimmy! What have I done? I was a fool! I made all these decisions for her, not with her. I basically told her to stop being herself! I tried to protect her when she didn't want protection! She's a strong, independent woman and I treated her like a child!"

He was trying to concentrate on his friend's misery, but just thinking of Lou, of holding her close in his arms, or standing at her back in a gunfight, or riding next to her in the wilderness, or watching her grow round with their first child, glowing and proud, made him firm up and long for her with every fiber of his being. He couldn't help himself. His melancholy from dinner had evaporated more and more with each of Kid's tears. He wasn't trying to be happy about his brother's misery, but it did plant the seeds of hope that Lou and Jimmy would get through this rough patch and be together. He had told her he wanted to. On the trail, when she was up against the tree, he told her he wanted her forever.

Jimmy sat next to Kid, hesitantly placed his arm over the sobbing man's shoulders and patted him awkwardly.

Kid nodded and whispered, "I was an idiot."

Jimmy nodded absently as Kid sniffed and wiped his tear streaked faced on his sleeve.

"I know I'll get over this and survive, Jimmy. I just wanna thank you for being here for me an talking to me an' all."

Jimmy nodded again, sympathetically, guiding Kid to the door.

"Jimmy? Thanks again. You're a good friend."

With a loud sigh, Jimmy closed the door behind Kid.

* * *

An hour later, there was another knock on his door. He sighed loudly, pulling himself off the bed and walked to the door, muttering, "Unless you got the answer to all my prayers, I suggest-" he opened the door, "Lou!"

"Can I come in?" She glanced quickly down the corridor on each side of her.

Jimmy nodded eagerly and stood aside, allowing her to pass before closing the door and locking it. He turned around and faced her, leaning against the door. She walked to the foot of the bed and turned to him, holding the bedpost in her hands.

"Jimmy, I-"

"Lou, I ne-"

Jimmy stopped short, and Lou looked down.

In two long strides, he had her face in his hands and her lips pressed against his. She whimpered, curling her fingers into the sleeves on his biceps, as he pulled her waist closer with his hand at the small of her back. He reached down caressing her thigh, pulling her knee up alongside his thigh. She held on to his arms with desperate need, and wound her hands behind his head, twining her fingers through his hair. His hand on her thigh came around to the front of her pants and unfastened them, making them drop to the floor as he pushed her leg down.

He brought her around to the bed gently, laying her down with her feet still on the floor. She propped herself up on her elbows, watching as he lowered himself to the floor on his knees, pulled her boots and pants off, and spread her legs. Kissing the inside of each of her knees, he trailed kisses up the inside of her thighs until he reached the apex. He laid a kiss where her curls and crevice met, looking into her widened eyes. Her eyebrows knitted together as she watched him in consternation.

Was he going to-? He flicked his tongue lower, and she gasped, dropping her head back and closing her eyes. She should stop him, shouldn't she? Maybe after one more - Oh lordy, that felt good! Her excitement had made her nub firm and he found the proof easily with his tongue. He licked the hood, then pushed his tongue under it, hearing a gasp and moan, as he exposed the little button to his ministrations. Rubbing at the very apex of her pleasure with the underside of his tongue, he twirled around and around the whole stiffened knob, then wrapped his lips around it and sucked.

"Oh GOD!" Lou yelled, heedless of who might hear. Jimmy smiled while he licked her puffy lips deeply, then pushed his tongue inside her warmth, licking her with relish, tasting her with gusto. He was so hard, his legs hurt, but he wanted to make sure she was exhausted from pleasure before he even thought about joining her. Her hands dived through his hair, and she wrapped her legs around his head, moaning and thrashing.

Bringing his mouth back to her little mound, he pushed two of his fingers inside her wetness as he licked her little pleasure center. He worked his fingers in and out, while sucking and licking her hooded bump with a near irrational enjoyment. She bit her lip as she felt herself falling, falling off a cliff and flying to the stars in the same instant. She screamed his name, grasping his hair and wrapping his head in her legs, gripping him like a python. He smiled against her and licked her more, pushing and pulling his fingers in her slick, grasping love canal.

He wasn't stopping. Lou thought her head might just fly off. She wished she could just push him off... wait, she had legs, right? Yeah she could - Oh God Yes! Right there! Wait, she needed... oh, what did she need? Was she even breathing? Maybe she was dead and this was how wonderful it felt afterwards. They would definitely have to do this again! Wait, wasn't that why she was - God what _was_ he doing? She was flying! Oh that was nice... soooo niiiice...

She was hoarse from the effort of expressing herself so loudly and often. She felt Jimmy shrug her nerveless legs off his shoulders and pull himself up between her legs, pushing his throbbing hardness into her sopping, tightened tunnel. She moaned lowly, grabbing him by the buttocks and pushing him down deeper into her.

He flipped over, taking her with him, then sat up, licking and sucking her nipples as he moved. He thrust in and out of her a few times then wrapped her legs around his waist before standing up and pushing her back against the wall. She had thought they were done, but, he held her tight against him as he viciously pushed in and out of her with his hard and throbbing shaft. She felt him so deeply inside her, she could feel his almost mindlessly blind need to get as close to her as possible. She cried out in pleasure and pain, loving the feeling of both sensations thrown together in his animalistic need to join with her in primal satisfaction. Every thrust made her cry out in passion. Every stroke marked her as his and she reveled in every feeling it conjured in her.

He drove her into the wall like they were melding into one body, and their very survival depended on their connection. He dropped his head to her shoulder and sucked hard. He bit her, forcing a cry of pain and delight from her surprised lips. Her arms held on to his neck tightly as she buried her head in the crook of his neck and shoulder, lost in the amazing and insane sensations he was taking her through. She was caught in a twister and nothing she could do could hold her down. She just had to trust that when she hit the ground, she would be alright.

His thrusting intensified, and her cries of pleasure goaded him to reach that pinnacle froze against him, head back in a silent scream of pleasure and fulfillment, her muscles milking him, triggering his release in a roar of completion and satisfaction. He held her tight, and staggered to the bed, sitting down, then collapsing back onto the bed, Lou collapsing right on top of him.

She opened her eyes slowly, feeling Jimmy's chest beneath her, his breath slow and regular. She gingerly climbed off him, thighs aching, core throbbing. This was not how this was supposed to go. She was supposed to tell him … And he went and got all …

She closed her eyes, her stomach fluttering wildly just thinking of all the things he did. She dressed as quietly as possible, trying to understand what had just happened.

When Kid had come to her room earlier with a tear stained face, she was prepared to tell him to go away, once and for all. But as he started talking, or begging, Lou started thinking about love. It was a funny word, one that everyone expected to cure all the world's ills. She looked at Kid and tried to pay attention.

"Lou, you have always been and always will be the one for me. We've hit some bumps in the road, for sure, but they've only proven to me that you are the one I need. You make me feel like a man …"

What had love brought her in her life? Everything she had ever loved or held dear, or was important to her was gone. Her mother, her siblings, her innocence. Her mother had loved her father and look where that ended up. What if love wasn't the answer?

Kid was still talking, " …I want to grow old with you, build a family with you. I want you to be happy and at peace. I want to be there for you every day, rain or shine, through thick or thin …"

Did she love Kid? Of course she loved Jimmy. That was for damn sure. He was always … just him. Fair minded, honest if slightly reticent when it came to admitting things, passionate, all consuming. There was so much about him that she knew she wanted to explore more. She wanted to experience life with him. But, if she did, would he … want the same things? Would he … want a family? The experiences of growing old with her? Would she be enough for him? Elias thought so.

But, would he be taken away from her like every other thing she loved in her life? Her breath caught in her throat.  
Lou nodded at Kid, almost not hearing him say, " …When I close my eyes, I dream about building a life with you, Lou. Can't you see it? Would you build a life with me, Lou?"

She heard him say her name and looked at his beautiful, clear dark blue eyes, full of earnestness and life, promising a future with family and home and safety, of stability and security. She needed time. She needed to think. She needed him to leave her alone for a while.

She sat down at the desk in Jimmy's room, finding some hotel stationary, a pen and ink, to write in the low light of the evening.

Jimmy opened his eyes and felt cold. His eyes looked around the room, and alighted upon Lou at the writing desk, apparently deep in thought and concentration. He smirked, then quietly pulled his pants up, tiptoeing up behind Lou. She was writing something. He looked over her shoulder, wondering what was so intense, she would be shutting out the world while doing this. She'd written a whole lot, but he could only make out the first few lines and glanced at them, as he leaned in to nuzzle her neck while she was signing the letter.

"Dear Jimmy,  
I can't leave Kid now. I know I said I would, but I cannot - "

Jimmy staggered backwards, knocking into the mirrored dresser on the far wall. Lou looked up in shock to see Jimmy leaning against the dresser heavily.

"Lou?"

She swallowed hard and turned in the chair to face him fully.

"Is there something you want to tell me, Lou?" He was staring at the floor not willing or able to look her in the eye.

"Jimmy, I-"

"Read it, Lou," he growled angrily.

"Jimmy, I can-"

"Read it!" He roared.

She gasped, and hesitated, looking him in the face. His eyes were closed, his lips pressed together in a thin line, his hands were grasping the dresser behind him so hard, his knuckles were white. She thought reading it to him might tip him into a frenzy of rage, but there was no other choice. She was trapped by her own actions and lack of speaking. She knew she should have said something earlier, but he felt so good, and god knew her body was crying out for his touch, even now, like the plants in the heat of summer cried out for rain.

She gulped, then began.

"Dear Jimmy," she paused looking up at him. His eyes were still closed, but his face looked slightly more relaxed, though his forehead was still wrinkled.

She continued, "I can't leave Kid now. I know I said I would, but I cannot give him up just because," her voice cracked, so she cleared her throat, taking a deep breath, "just because our love is amazin' when we are together. I cannot turn my back on my time with Kid for our few days of passion," she glanced up at him again.

His lips were back to being a thin line, and were white from the pressure.

"What kind of woman would I be if I abandoned Kid just because things are going bad for a while? What kind of person would you think I was if I dropped my loyalty because I was upset?"

He snorted loudly at that. She sure as hell dropped her pants fast enough when she was upset. Lou looked up sharply, and he realized he had said that out loud.

He shrugged unapologetically, "You didn't?"

She glared at him with watery eyes then continued, "I am not a fair-weather friend. I don't leave just because things are rough. I would not have respect for anyone like that, and neither would you. Please know that I love you with all my heart. I never wanted to hurt you. I wish things were different. Please don't let my actions ruin our friendship we have."

Lou paused, the tears in her eyes clogging her throat, as well.

"Is that it?" He growled menacingly.

She looked up at him in trepidation and shook her head hesitantly.

Ha sarcastically gestured for her to continue with a smile that did absolutely nothing to reassure her about her safety, "Then, by all means, Louise. Continue. Please. I insist."

Lou took some deep breaths, cleared her throat again, and continued,

"Jimmy, I need you to be my best friend, still." Jimmy snickered cruelly, but remained silent.

"I need you to treat me like your sister again." Jimmy outright laughed at that. She forced herself to look up at him.

"Sister," he addressed her with a glint in his eye, "there is no way I'll be seeing you as a sister after this week, girl. Unless you're into that kinda thing," he sneered, looking her up and down lasciviously.

Lou gaped, eyes wide. Jimmy noticed the paper shaking like a leaf in the wind. He clenched his jaw, ashamed to cause her such fear and hesitation, but his anger filling him with such loathing, it wouldn't allow him to stop.

"Finish up, Lou. Your lover awaits," he bit out venomously.

Her tears were blinding her. How could this possibly be the right thing when it hurt so damn much? Breaking up with Kid never felt like she was pulling out an organ to be left where it lay. An appendage, maybe, but not her stomach. Not her heart. She tried to hold back her tears, but they flowed freely. She continued reading around the massive growth in her throat, barely getting above a whisper.

"Please, don't let this change us. I love you so much, and I always will, but Kid was and always will be my first love. I cannot give up on that or our future together. I am so sorry. I know we said we loved each other, but I believe," she took a calming breath, "I believe there is someone else out there for you. I know you will be happy someday. Please know you mean more to me than anyone in the world."

She whispered, "With all my love, Lou."

The moments of silence stretched into minutes. Her tears silently fell onto the letter.

"So I was a place holder. A bed warmer."

She dropped the letter on the desk and quickly came to him, heedless of her fear or his response, and laid a hand on his now crossed forearms. Despite his fury and despair, his body reacted to her touch. His soul clamored to forgive her just so she would never stop touching him.

"No Jimmy, please don't say that. I never thought of you like that. I - I - lov-"

"Get out," he turned his head away. She didn't move.

He roared, pointing at the door, "Get out!"

He took her by the arm, dragged her to the door, opened it then pushed her through. Standing in the doorway she looked up at him full of anguish.

She whispered, "Jimmy, I'm so sorry."

Jimmy looked at her through narrowed eyes and bit out harshly, "I'll _bet_ you are."

He slammed the door in her tear streaked face.

* * *

**Thank you all for your wonderful support and reviews, letting me know how much you like this. You really like this!**

**I am working on Episode III, which will be a multi-chaptered event sometime in their future. ****Lots of angst, drama, smut, romance, heart-felt moments.** Episode IV, I hope, promises to be exciting as well. This trio is the gift that keeps on giving! And, yes, Kid WILL have his day, his moment in the sun. But I will be leaning more towards the Season One Kid. Season 2 & 3 Kid will only show up in teeny tiny bits and pieces. 

**I might have a few extra gap-fillers here and there to let you know the emotional journey these two take. But this take on what happened makes me watch the rest of Season three with my stomach doing flip flops at what kind of pain he must be going through. So fun!**

**So, Thanks again for ALL your wonderful feedback, and, as always, **

**Read, Enjoy, and Review! **

**Reviews make the muse talk faster and harder.**


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